SpiriseBible
Beauty from Ashes
Rachel's Journey from Childhood Trauma to Healing Advocate
Content Note: This testimony discusses childhood abuse with sensitivity and hope. If you're struggling, please reach out for help.
Rachel Washington
Survivor, Therapist, Founder of "Chains to Freedom Ministry"
"For 25 years, I was a victim. Today, I'm a victor. This is how God rewrote my story."
I was seven when my childhood ended. The person who should have protected me became my nightmare. For eight years, I lived in a house of horrors, wearing a mask of normalcy that fooled everyone.
"I became an expert at hiding. Perfect grades, perfect behavior, perfect smile. Inside, I was screaming. I thought if I could just be good enough, maybe it would stop. Maybe I'd be worth protecting. But perfection couldn't save me."
How I Survived:
Ages 15-30: The Aftermath
The abuse ended when I finally told a teacher. But the trauma had just begun its real work. I was "free," but carried invisible chains.
"I punished my body for betraying me—eating disorders, self-harm, toxic relationships. I chose men who confirmed what I believed: I was worthless, damaged goods. Every relationship was another prison, but at least it was familiar."
- 3 suicide attempts by age 25
- 4 abusive relationships
- 2 hospitalizations for severe depression
- Countless nights wondering why God let it happen
At 30, after another failed relationship and job loss, I found myself in a women's shelter. Rock bottom? I was underneath it. But God often speaks loudest in our lowest moments.
Maria, a volunteer at the shelter, was different. She'd look at me—really SEE me—without pity or judgment. One night, she sat beside my bed as I cried. "Rachel," she said, "you keep trying to heal yourself. What if you let the Healer do His work?"
She shared her own story—trafficking survivor, now thriving. "God doesn't just restore," she said. "He redeems. Every scar can become a story of His glory."
The Surrender
April 3, 2015. In that shelter chapel, I finally broke. Not the broken I'd been—that was damage. This was different. This was surrender.
"God, I can't carry this anymore. Take it. Take all of it. If You can make beauty from ashes, then here are my ashes."
The Long Road to Wholeness
Professional Help with Faith
Found a Christian trauma therapist. Finally spoke the unspeakable. EMDR therapy + prayer = breakthrough.
Community of Survivors
Joined "Beauty for Ashes" support group. First time I didn't feel alone. Their stories became my strength.
Reclaiming My Body
Learned my body wasn't the enemy. Started yoga, dance, celebrating what my body survived. Temple restoration.
The Forgiveness Journey
Hardest part. Not for them—for me. Forgiveness was my key to freedom. Took 2 years of prayer and therapy.
Letter I Never Sent:
"I forgive you. Not because what you did was okay—it will never be okay. I forgive you because I refuse to let you steal one more day of my life. I forgive you because my Savior forgave me. I forgive you because I choose freedom over bitterness. You took my childhood, but you cannot have my future. I am no longer your victim. I am God's victory."
"He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds."
- Psalm 147:3 (KJV)
This became my life verse. God wasn't just aware of my wounds—He was actively binding them.
Before Healing
- Victim identity
- Chronic depression/PTSD
- Destructive relationships
- Self-harm behaviors
- Spiritual confusion
- Isolated and ashamed
After Healing
- Survivor identity
- Managed mental health
- Healthy boundaries
- Self-care practices
- Vibrant faith
- Connected and purposeful
Chains to Freedom Ministry - 8 Years Later
God didn't waste my pain. In 2017, I founded a ministry for abuse survivors. What Satan meant for destruction, God used for deliverance.
To My Fellow Survivors
If you're reading this through tears, know this: Your pain is real. Your trauma is valid. And your healing is possible.
- You are not what happened to you. You are who God says you are—beloved, chosen, worthy.
- It's not your fault. No matter what lies you've believed, you did nothing to deserve abuse.
- Healing isn't linear. Bad days don't mean you're not progressing. Be patient with yourself.
- You're braver than you know. You survived. That took incredible strength.
- God weeps with you. He's not distant from your pain—He's intimately acquainted with it.
Your story isn't over. The God who brings beauty from ashes is still writing.
Help is Available:
National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)
Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741
Remember: Reaching out for help is courage, not weakness.
A Prayer for Healing
"Lord, You see the wounded one reading this. You know their story, their pain, their tears. Meet them in their hiding place. Show them they're not alone. Begin the healing only You can bring. Replace their ashes with beauty, their mourning with joy, their despair with hope. We trust You, Healer of broken hearts. In Jesus' name, Amen."
Today, I'm 41 years old. I'm a licensed therapist, published author, and wife to an amazing man who sees me as God does—whole, beautiful, worthy. We're adopting two children from trauma backgrounds. Redemption comes full circle.
Some days, the scars still ache. Triggers still happen. But I'm no longer defined by what was done to me. I'm defined by what Christ has done FOR me.
My name is Rachel Washington. I was abused. I was broken. But I am not a victim.
I am living proof that God still brings beauty from ashes.
